Memories of the Past

I was going through my old messages on Facebook today. I just wanted to clean out all of the old ones that I really don’t need anymore. I stumbled upon a message I received from my latest ex Cory.  He is definitely up there in the amount of drama he created in my life. Anways, I was reading through the message and I could hardly believe it was from him.  This message was sent to me after the first few times we hung out.  He was so sweet and caring.  He kept saying how he couldn’t wait to see me and how I’m everything that he has been missing out on.  It’s hard for me to believe that was him who sent the message since I only saw that side of him for a moment.  Before I knew it, that side of him was gone and he turned in to a heartless bitch to put it nicely. He turned in to another disappointment and another notch on my bedpost.  When will a guy worthy of my love come in to my life? One that is capable of returning the level of love I give. Soon I hope. I can only hope.

Pridefest

Sunday was the last day of the Pittsburgh Pride Festival. I went to it of course. I also went to it last year and plan to go next year. The parade was amazing this year as usual even though I missed like half of it.  PrideFest was great as usual with all of the performers and such.  I was actually approached by a drag queen who recognized me off of myyearbook. It was quite interesting to say the least.  Most of the vendors were giving away a ton of free stuff including condoms and lube.  Somehow I managed to nab 220 condoms and 48 packets of lube.  Between all of my friends we scored 400 condoms and 120 packets of lube. It was crazy. I definitely won’t need condoms for years.  I feel as if I need to use all of these condoms before they expire. I guess this definitely means I need to get a boyfriend soon. In other news I’m looking for a job as usual.  I went asking around today and filled out a few applications and I plan on going again tomorrow and hitting the other side of town. My goal is to have a job by the end of the month. Hopefully I can actually manage that.  This would help me save a great deal of money and also make a nice chunk of change.  I guess we will see how this goes.

It’s Officially Official

I’m officially a high school graduate! The entire ceremony took all day. It all seemed sort of like a dream. Almost as if it really wasn’t happening. I really don’t feel all that much different honestly. It’s rather exciting of course but I’m just bored more now really.  My next step is to try and find a job. I’ve been trying the past few weeks but I haven’t really applied many places. I’m sure something will pop up soon enough though. My graduation party is coming up this Saturday and I’m rather excited for that. I’m very curious to see how much money I get. Sadly, I’m expecting to get little to nothing. My family is a bunch of poor cheapskates.  It’ll all work out though. It always does. That’s all for now. Until next time!

Scuba Diving and such

I finally went scuba diving with my Aunt yesterday for the first time since I’ve became certified back in October.  It was quite awesome to say the least.  This pond had a bunch of random things like a platform suspended about 10 feet down, a boat, a motorcycle and a lawnmower. After we were done we dropped our equipment off at the shore and jumped back in the pond to swim around. We were wearing 7mm suits because the water was quite cold and without all of the heavy equipment you can float very easily.   It was funny because if your feet started to float out in front of you, it would almost flip you over when they popped up out of the water without your control.  In other news, I’m graduating high school tomorrow! Today I need to go pick up a nice button up shirt, tie, and some nice pants.  I believe I may buy a pair of shoes too or just borrow a pair of my uncles.  I’ve never really worn anything like this but I’m excited to see how spiffy I look. That’s all I have to update today. Until next time! :]

It’s hard to believe

I’m having a hard time believing I will be graduating in 2 days. It’s amazing feeling and yet it kind of scares me. This is it! It’s over! It’s hard to believe all of those years are already behind me. Not to mention I’m graduating a year early. In other good news, I’ll be attending Clarion University in the fall. I’m pretty excited about that also. This is all just huge to me. It’s another huge step and I believe I’m ready for it.

Leave it in the Past

I’ve been sitting here reading through all of my posts that I’ve written on wordpress in the past almost 2 years that I have been writing on here.  I’m kinda sad that I didn’t write more then I did at the time. I wanted to see a little more in to my past to know exactly how I was feeling and why. It makes me sad to see how depressed and lonely I have been the past 2 years despite going through a lot of “potentials” and relationships.   Shame on every last guy who has made feel inferior or not good enough.  It just pains me to remember all of these emotions I had racing through my veins like fire. I’m a hopeless romantic.  I have a big heart and equally big dreams.  Despite everything I always say, I’m more than capable of loving again.  I know deep down that it isn’t something I can control and I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just a naturally loving person. Now all I need is the boy that is worth my love and can even attempt to match it. I know he’s out there somewhere. I’ll be waiting.

A New Beginning

Last night was by far the most fun I have had in a long time.  I went to see a show with my friends Mara and Becky. There was some local band, Stereos, Blood on the Dance Floor, Jeffree Star and BrokenCYDE all there. It was quite an awesome show.  I ended up catching a drumstick from the band Blood on the Dance Floor. I don’t even really like their band all that much but I was extremely excited that I actually caught something. My friends and I were up on this platform on the dance floor that had a seating area and this pole off to one side. I don’t believe it was made for dancing on but that’s exactly what we did.  The entire night we just danced up on each other and this pole. It was pretty amazing actually. I also ended up running in to an old friend I haven’t seen in a very long time. It was nice catching up with him for a little bit. The big news of the night consisted of me spotting this guy towards the center of the crowd that kept looking at me.  Eventually it led to smiles, grins and flirting from a distance.  He was so cute and I definitely went with it.  I’ve never actually approached a guy before until that night. After the show was over, I walked up to him and talked to him. I even surprised myself by getting his number.  This is definitely a new beginning for me and exactly what I needed right now after all that has been happening. I guess we will see what happens with this one. To a new beginning! *raises glass*

Life Update

I figured it was time for another update on my life. I have some good news! I got my SAT scores recently and I scored a 1550.  It’s not the best score but I’m quite satisfied with it. I walked in to the test with the flu and feeling quite literally like shit. I was surprised I got that good of a score. What I don’t get is how I got my highest score in math. I seriously thought I bombed that part. I guess now all I really have to do is wait until I find out what colleges I get in to. Then go from there I suppose.  In other news my social life is pretty much the same. My love life is still in the gutter as always. I did meet someone new tonight though. We’ve been talking for a while and he seems kind of interesting.  I don’t know what to expect from him honestly. I guess in all honestly I expect him to be just like every other guy. I know I shouldn’t think that way but I do. I don’t even know if I should expect anything to come from it besides just making another friend. I’m afraid to care about someone again.  Maybe this will make me takes thing slower and actually do something right for once. I guess we will see. Until next time.

Go Local

I’ve been thinking a lot about actually attending Clarion University instead of hoping down to the University of Pittsburgh.  I visited Clarion yesterday and talked to admissions and all that jazz. It really isn’t all that bad. One huge advantage is how it’s so close. I can just commute if I want.  It’s also cheap enough that I can probably live on campus if I want and still be just fine with funding.  I’m getting kind of worried about how much money will be available to me to go to school.  If I do get accepted to Pitt and I’m able to go there for fairly cheap then hell yeah I’m not sticking around here.  Just a lot of decisions to make and it’s really stressing me out. This is all on top of just the general normal day to day life drama I have too. I really believe I read in to situations too much and over think things.  Life is just a bitch sometimes.

Yet Another College Update

I’ve officially applied to about 4 different colleges. They consist of The University of Pittsburgh, PennState, Point Park and Clarion University.  I will be applying for Mercyhurst also but I have to wait for my recommendation letter to be applied beforehand.  I’m hoping everything works out and I get in to a really good school.  I am off to take my SAT’s this Saturday. I’m definitely not looking forward to it but I know I’ll most likely do okay.  Well this is it for now, When something changes I’ll update you all.